Why does one want to be an investment banker? Why do they want to practice
the art of investment banking? While some people enter this esoteric world of
high finance by pure chance, and with little effort, I believe they are anomalies.
In the vast majority of cases, there are deep-seated motivations that propel
the uninitiated to persevere.
Most of these motivations can be grouped into a handful of categories which
also explains why so many investment bankers agree to work unusually long
hours, to put up with abnormally high levels of stress and to sacrifice
personal and leisure time. If you want proof – just take a look at the faces of
people who have been in the business for over ten years, especially those in
the front-line. Just take a nice, long hard look around the room at the
seniors officers present during your morning Monday briefer. Is it
not unusual that many of them are probably ten to fifteen years younger than they
look? I personally know it took a friend of
mine less than five years in investment banking to give birth to most of
the grey hairs he currently sports. So why do so many
people accept, among other things, the premature ageing that comes with the
territory? Well here are my suspected reasons.
Hypnosis: dangling a shiny pendulum
For many, it was a strange need to emulate or identify with the characters of the 80's movie “Wall
Street”. I mean – who does
not remember Gordon Gecko’s famous line “Greed is good.”? After being
mesmerized by these words, and the accompanying GQ countenance of this movie, my
friends, mostly former AIESEC members, tried to apply with prestigious
investment houses dreaming that, yes – there is a “Wall Street” in the
Philippines and it is found in Ayala avenue (or nearby Salcedo Village). I
personally was propelled to put forth an application at FEB
Capital and PCCI (then the largest investment house) . Never mind that the female recruiter has major halitosis
probably from working round the clock to make a deal happen.
Nonetheless, my naive dreams of money and hot girls – and that the Philippine
market literally was so backward – and there really is no point of comparison, never
deterred me from standing down on my applications. I was hooked on the image
and not on reality – just like most of my friends.
Pera/Dinero
There could be no doubt that chief among the reasons of entering into
investment banking is the notion that one would earn a lot of money. It’s already
a given that the entrepreneurial route is the path which ultimately leads to
the greatest riches. However, entrepreneurship is beset with many pitfalls and
risks. Therefore, given the very calculating nature of investment bankers, the
optimal choice is a career which is less risky than entrepreneurship yet at the
same time relatively more lucrative than other roles. So the logic goes that if
you consider it safe to be employed but too risky to be an entrepreneur, then
investment banking can be considered a better bet in terms of compensation. Just
like any entrepreneur, we investment bankers spring out of bed at 5:30 am every
weekday to get ready for work as if called into a meeting by God. The raison
d’être is to toil through all the days of the year until one very particular
day in the year. Bonus day. I remember we got 16 months worth of pay when it
was a good year. You know what? During those bonus days, it felt as if God came
down to earth and kissed us blokes in credit and merchant banking on the
forehead. During that day, you may notice for the first time that some of your
colleagues actually have teeth. Year-round glares of intimidation turn into
ear-to-ear smiles. I remember my boss giving me a box of “ensaymada cakes”, my German
boss treated us blokes to dinner at Nielsen’s with that accompanying handout envelope.
I assure you, you will not see me wear anything remotely as BIG, as the smile
they’ll walk into work with that day in anticipation of the handout envelope.
The stress, grey hairs, hair loss, stomach ulcers, eczema, skin rashes, to name
a few undesirable aspects of the job, are somehow justified by that sole
envelope which contains my bonus for the year. If it is a great handout then
the day after, you will see me glow like a prophet. The rest of the year is
spent hoping it becomes a good year.
The frigging lifestyle
Well, unless you are one of the top dogs – your lifestyle is just freaking
common. However, if you are a rainmaker, then your life swings into high gear Gatsby
style - from fine Japanese restaurants serving mouth-watering black cod with
miso, expensive French wine served in booked rooms in a lux beach villa nestled
in a remote exotic island (well there are 7,000+ islands in the Philippines
anyway), the list of activities enjoyed by investment bankers are way out of reach
to most people. That said, whether we truly appreciate the main course or that expensive bottle of Cristal or rather enjoy the status associated
with eating there when the restaurant next door offers more delectable food at
a third the price, does not matter here. It’s the lifestyle the job affords - that
some gravitate towards. And for those who made it - the opportunity to hang out
with the Ferragamo-wearing crowd or a Brooks Brothers posse or just chill with
their Prada and Hermes toting wives makes one feel really special. For others
the right lifestyle includes being able to send their kids to a school which will
hopefully prep their progeny for entry into a US based Ivy league school -
never mind the genetic defects. I remember my female boss at a now defunct
investment house really liked attending art exhibits where you’re served
champagne, engage in inane small talk and pretend that you’ve done the rounds
in art circuits since birth. It reminds me of an ex-colleague who’d always take
half an hour to memorize the current economic outlook, jot down a few key
phrases and throw them around at social events as if he is a doing a
presentation for a post-doc at LSE in Paris.
Let’s not forget the fine food:
Lunch: “Yes, to start with I’ll take the cold cuts appetizer, then a salmon
ceviche followed by the suckling pig, and…oh…as it appears divine I’d also like
the artichoke and black truffle soup with the layered brioche and mushroom.
Thank you.”
Dinner: “We’ll have the crispy pata…oh and lets have some of that good
Paulaner beer please.”
Status: symbol of financial success
It’s the prestige that comes with the job which matters most. Many
investment bankers love knowing that their friends refer to them as a ‘high
flying finance guy / gal.’ All of a sudden people around think of you as a
finance whiz. Relations and friends will call you and question you on how to
get mortgages, successfully refinance loans, buy into the stock-market or even
how much to tip in restaurants. Your opinion on all things monetary suddenly
matters very much. That is, even if all you do in your day-to-day job is to
give car and housing loans and that in reality you’re as knowledgeable on loan
applications as a taho vendor is on geology.
I have know some investment bankers who’ll whine about their job on daily
basis and carry their utter disdain for their work life on their foreheads. But
when you run into them at a rooftop lounge on a Friday evening surrounded by a
young crowd of non-finance people you’ll hear them describe what they do as if
they’re Warren Buffet – “price is what you pay, value is what you get…ehemm
excuse me.”
